He asked, "I am having a problem with people-pleasing, what can I do to change?" This is a question we get very often. When people begin to ask these types of questions it means they have started to see themselves; which is true recovery of spiritual sight. People can live their entire lives not seeing themselves; therefore can't change, but always seeing others as being the cause of their misery and misfortunes.
To this question Danielle answered, "You are most likely having a problem with truly loving yourself. We will go in details very soon. But most likely you are unable to say no to people and when people say no to you you take it offensively. The fear of rejection, not being loved, and not being accepted are the root causes of this issue. You subconsciously have developed the belief that you are not enough unless someone loves you, accepts you, or agrees with you."
If we were to take a wild guest we would also say that you are also indecisive and you are not able to follow through most of the times on the things that you promised yourself you would do. You are impatient and like to multi-task, while you avoid the things that are most important to you. You are probably hard on yourself. Finally we would say that there are one or two specific people in your life that you constantly seek approval from.
These are usually some of the symptoms of the people pleasing syndrome you mentioned.
"If left uncured this can lead to mental fogginess and confusion, a disconnection to your truest feelings and a fear to express what’s truly on your mind. It can lead to self-resentment and in some cases eating uncontrollably. People pleasing can cause one to abort one’s life mission and truest path. At the psychic level this can lead to self-activated stress and anxiety which can lead to chronic conditions in the body." Danielle added.
Alain: "There is a healthy way to please people. For example, I love to please my mentors by doing well and following through with the assignments they give me. Pleasing people can actually be a healthy motivation to reach a higher goal or to achieve your highest potential. The people please that is unhealthy is when you are begging for love, begging for attention, and you are afraid to lose people's approval."
Danielle: "The solution is to redeem the part of you that is constantly looking to please people. To redeem means to love unconditionally and to accept this people-pleasing part of you fully or you will resent it. What do I mean by accepting fully? You cannot change what you resent. So to not resent, you must first accept what you do not like about you. How does it make you feel? How is it affecting your life? How will your life improve without it? What will you be able to become and do without it. You want to answer those questions and create the right feelings to work with. "
People Pleasing is a personality disorder. You can bring that personality back into order. it is the distorted version of your inner child. Therefore, you have to redeem it and restore it. When you see that personality in action, observe it and simply say to it “I love you”. Say positive things such as “I see you”, “I know you are love and divine, you are whole and complete”. I am proud of you. I believe in your capacity to fully be what you are meant to be in this lifetime and to learn what you are here to learn and to grow. I am so proud of you." Know that this part of you is just looking from others what it feels incapable of giving to itself.
Growing up some of the experiences you’ve had left some negative energies that are now trapped in your energy centers and seat in your auric body. Your brain picks up those signals from your aura and replays those events through your personalities. You are simply victim of the past. You need to awaken the divine power in you in order to transcend the people pleasing program all together.
We can teach you how to activate this power within you through a simple tool called AURAGRAM to activate the love-energy from your energy centers. You will develop a strong connection with your SELF. You will learn to listen to your truest feelings and act upon your authentic voice.
You will also develop the ability to say no and to believe in your choices and decisions. You will respect other people's choices and love them regardless of what they may say or believe about you. You will not seek for approval as you will learn to trust your divine instinct called intuition or inspiration. You will experience a divine flow, which will lead to the ultimate state of bliss or the awakening of FULL ENTHUSIASM.
The Teachings Of Alain and Danielle